(Red-letter portions of the New Testament)
It is tempting for normal people to ignore our president when he starts ranting about treason and corruption at the FBI. I understand the temptation. I'm the object of many of his rants, and even I try to ignore him.
An old guy was driving along on an interstate highway, in the left-hand lane, going 55; which you can do on interstates. Heck, the minimum speed limit is 45. Most of the 45ers are trying to commit suicide.
This is an observation that will, hopefully, not result in my issuing a mea culpa: Women are busybodies. Their key mission in life is to compile endless “honey do” lists. To a certain extent, that is commendable.
The Shelbyville Daily Union has a long history in this community. We've been serving Shelby County since 1863, and we intend to continue doing so for a long time to come.
Happy day, huh; read on and after reading this column you might throw yourself off the roof. Maybe, even jump off a cliff, or do yourself in with a wet spoon.
The whole world was shocked and dismayed at the horrific murder of innocent worshipers at two mosques in Christchurch, New Zealand. Every Western country condemned the attack as a vicious senseless and evil massacre against innocent people at their places of worship. Every newspaper in the W…
One of the obligations of a parent is to make their children eat things they hate. Where and when this sadistic practice emerged, no one really knows. Rare is a victory gained for a serving of broccoli.
Elmer T. Bass, a Make America Great Again guy, walked into the local bar, plopped down on a stool beside me and ordered a Black Russian. Turning to me, he rumbled, “Are you that FAKE news guy, Harry Reynolds?”
Tuan Pham’s family founded its grocery store in Illinois 23 years ago. The Hoang-Anh Oriental Food Store in East Moline proudly serves Quad Cities shoppers, especially the Asian-American immigrant community.
WASHINGTON – A four-word phrase common on late-night television, exclaimed by announcers giddy about their offers: "Buy this kitchen knife that is so sharp it can slice and dice diamonds, and we'll throw in a nonstick frying pan that can double as a satellite dish. BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE! If…
Midnight frequented a dumpster behind a fast-food joint. The fine establishment specialized in fish sandwiches. One night, in the midst of a Halibut, he was “rescued” by a well-meaning employee. But, as she discovered, alley cats are neither grateful, nor inclined to domestication.
State Rep. Brad Halbrook, R-Shelbyville, says the minimum wage hike approved by the Illinois House will hurt local businesses throughout the state and make it more difficult for the state to overcome the current financial problems.
Being a fake news journalist, not inclined to believe much of what President Donald Trump says or tweets, I was brought to my senses a few days ago. So, here, dear reader, I admit that Trump is a victim of a “WITCH HUNT!”
The angel Goldenrod walked into my favorite bar and plopped down beside me. He ordered a Black Russian, which he dispatched quickly, and called the bartender to refill his glass. The bartender was ahead of him, having had a revelation.
WASHINGTON – His tractor is so noisy that, when driving it, the man who calls himself "just a farmer from Butler County" puts his cellphone under his cap, set on vibrate. Charles Grassley, 85, who has served in the Senate longer than all but 11 of the 1,983 other senators – and who still run…
The sirens wailed, and the girls screamed. They understood this nuclear bomb thing. The grade schools boys were dismissive. Density plagues the sex. Chaos reigned for a few minutes
The malevolent ghost of the Alien and Seditions Acts has reared its ugly head – and you thought the child of thin-skinned President John Adams had been relegated to history. But, along came William Barr.
According to my Facebook profile, I graduated from high school in 1988, which would make me 46 years old. Which, admittedly, would be great; but, alas, I am 75, having graduated in 1961. With a heavy heart, I set about trying to set things straight.
BERLIN – In one of contemporary history's intriguing caroms, European politics just now is a story of how one decision by a pastor's dutiful daughter has made life miserable for a vicar's dutiful daughter. Two of the world's most important conservative parties are involved in an unintended t…
For years, the oil industry has sought to roll back competition from biofuels, like ethanol. Manufactured in rural communities like ours, biofuels are made from farm crops, and they supply a full 10 percent of America’s liquid fuel needs. Without homegrown fuels, American consumers would hav…
My introduction to journalism confronted me when I walked into the newspaper office, having been sent there by a friend who happened to be a big advertiser. The guy standing before me, I have to admit, was intimidating.
The first year of our marriage, we lived in a trailer park. Not much of one, but then, neither was the trailer. Our relatives did not worry about it, being convinced we would not last. They had good reason, I guess.
We came up short on the noodles on Thanksgiving. Most of them were clinging to the kitchen ceiling. Those that were not decorated the stove, floor and walls. Strands dropped like rain. The noodles on my mom’s hair reminded me of yellow ribbons.
It was a week before Halloween as I watched the unenviable task of my colleague Amy Holmes lecturing NBC anchor Megyn Kelly, on what turned out to be the final outing of “Megyn Kelly Today,” that “I can play Diana Ross … but I’m sorry Megyn, you can’t.”
Beef Easter got hit by a truck when he was in grade school. I cannot remember if it was a pickup truck or a semi. He survived. As for the truck, it was towed to the junkyard. Beef, as you might imagine, was a big guy.
Sometimes, I think President Donald Trump looks like a duck – a big, orange one at that. Ducks quack; Trump quacks. Insulting nicknames are his calling card.
Gov. Bruce Rauner recently visited the Shelbyville Daily Union, and I sat down with him for a wide-ranging interview as he prepared for Election Day on Tuesday.
Two weeks ago, 11 members of a Jewish temple in Pittsburgh were killed for one reason and one reason only: Being Jewish. The whole country wept with the families of the victims. Flags flew at half-staff. America spoke in one strong voice condemning the hateful attack … Leaders of every relig…
When the “alternative facts” out of Washington get exhausting, I imagine myself in one of Walt Disney’s animated masterpieces, his 1940 version of Carlo Collodi’s 1883 tale of Pinocchio, whose nose grew longer every time he told a lie.
- Aquatic Center pool could get new features
- Daughter's training saves mother's life
- 6-20-19 Fayette County indictments
- City gets new employee, to get new police vehicle
- High Water at Lake Shelbyville
- Shelbyville Unit 4 bids Bence adieu
- Lake Shelbyville Dog Show
- St. Anthony's Hospital pays it forward to Good Shepherd
- 5-30-19 Shelby County Sheriff's report
- Public invited to Religious Freedom Celebration in Springfield